Hi My name is Jim and I am an alcoholic, and for reasons outwith my understanding I am still alive. Words cannot express the emotions I feel realising this. Alcoholism ripped my life apart and drove my loved ones to near suicide or into poor general health. Alcoholics Anonymous and all that it has meant to me in those two words is why I am alive today. The whole experience of life itself has a whole new meaning to it.
Prior to April 2004 life was something that I had been granted and felt all the worse for because of my poor inability to cope with day to day living. Over the years my life was deteriorating and it made no sense and certainly it was not intentional! What a relief to hear a person say at a meeting ‘I just did not know that I did not know’. In April 2004 the misery started to come to an end with me spending 18 weeks in a treatment centre called Castle Craig which saved my life. The compassion and understanding shown by the individuals employed there was overwhelming. The way I see it, they had to be tough with the illness but delicate with the afflicted. This is no mean feat and not a day goes by but I am reminded of my time there. No matter what difficult situation I am dealing with, I can hear the therapist’s voice telling me a simple one-liner to alter my self destructive thinking.
Some of us were taken to an AA meeting in Edinburgh and I sat up in front of the mini bus where I really enjoyed the beautiful winding roads of the countryside. I had experienced a sense of hope and felt driven to this, whatever this is, my best shot. On our return from the meeting the countryside was dark outside, but never in my life had it seemed so bright. I could not help trying to tell people of how I felt, as I was bursting with new found energy. One of my friends helped me put it all into words when he said that my face and eyes said it all. It was fantastic.
What had happened in Edinburgh? Firstly I noticed a rainbow which was set within a clear blue sky with only wisps of remaining cloud from an April shower. It was a magnificent full-arched rainbow. What a sight for someone who had spent many years behind closed curtains. Secondly, I heard my story being told. It had been said to me that if you attend enough meetings then you will hear your own story. It was unbelievable listening to the gentleman sharing from the top table. Each sentence telling me how my life had gone down the tubes and then how he had got recovery by going into Castle Craig. So the next time you see a rainbow I want you to join me in sensing hope through the sunshine and clouds of life.

Jim,
Motherwell