She was raven-haired with striking blue eyes that could speak a thousand words. When I first met her I was worse for wear after a week-long bender and I’d had enough this time. I knew I couldn’t go on. Physically, mentally and spiritually I was a wreck.

She appeared, a figure dressed head to toe in black and we spoke for what seemed like hours. I was shivering and shaking and very scared but I listened to her story. She was like me and for the first time in my life I could relate to someone - I wasn’t alone.

She gave me her phone number and the next day she took me to a meeting. Very slowly, I began to get a little bit of hope. She was kind, patient and made me feel comfortable. She was open and honest and her humility shone through - along with a wicked sense of humour. After the meeting we drove to the park and I began to open up a little bit to her, sharing some of my horrific experience with her. I knew it all had to come out and over the weeks she helped me make sense of what had happened in my life. I stopped blaming and hating myself. Chapter by chapter, Step by Step, we went through the Big Book and we got down on our knees for Step Three. I shared my Step Five with her and she shared back.

She was with me all the way and it’s only now - looking back - I realise how blessed I was that she was part of my life. What sticks out was her sense of humour and how it felt to laugh for the first time in years. Sitting in her car eating a sandwich, as we often did, she cracked a wise remark and I laughed so hard I started to cry because I was so shocked that I had actually laughed. The tears rolled and we both went into hysterics, chortling one second and greetin’ the next. If anyone had seen us we’d have been taken away and locked up for sure.

She was no ordinary sponsor. I know that now but at the time I took it for granted. ‘Hindsight is a wonderful thing,’ she would say and don’t I know it. She became a mother, sister, best friend and sponsor all rolled in to one. She was there for me when I needed her most and never complained all the times I phoned her. I spoke to her almost every day until I was ten months’ sober. I was invited into her home, to her daughter’s wedding and even got to hold her newborn grandchild. As my journey continued and my family and a job came back into my life I saw a little less of her which was difficult for us both at the time but she knew I couldn’t be dependent on her so much.

She was a woman of supreme wisdom. Despite seeing less of her our friendship grew and was a more equal friendship with me doing the listening sometimes when she needed to share. She had a big family, yet had been willing to spend so much time to help me and others in AA.

She died after battling an illness and, although hurting inside, I knew that the legacy she left behind - of wisdom and recovery - would get me through it. I know I never would have made it if she hadn’t been put in my path. I know my Higher Power meant me to meet her and for her to be a part of my life. I knew her for just four years yet my whole life changed because of her. I cherish the memories I have of her and hold them close to my heart. I hope one day that I can help in the way she helped me.

Amen

V, Wishaw