What does life mean to you? On the June 28, 2004 it meant nothing to me, absolutely nothing. I felt worthless - worthless to my wonderful wife, to my two beautiful sons, worthless to the world. I had been running on empty for a long time. I had nothing left in the tank, nothing to give. Spiritually bankrupt, life was so meaningless that after drinking a bottle of wine, followed by a bottle of whisky, I swallowed 40 sleeping pills expecting never to wake up. Thankfully, I believe today that the God of my understanding had other ideas. I came to in the A & E of the local hospital.
Today, thanks to the People, the Power and the Programme of Alcoholics Anonymous, life is a wonderful journey filled with a joy I've never experienced before - the joy of living, the joy of loving. It's an indescribable feeling that, at last, I'm beginning to find the person I was always meant to be.
Life, however, has a different meaning for my new friends in HMP Shotts. For them 'life' means a sentence for crimes committed, mostly in alcoholic blackout but, thanks to AA, they too have found a new way of life. Their recovery never ceases to amaze me. Their words of wisdom blow me away. Even facing difficult circumstances in the "shark tank" as my friend Jim describes it, he speaks of "being set free before he's been released" and tells us, "If AA were a game, what a great game it is." One friend recently shared: "The days are too short. I wish there were 28 hours in a day." (Can you get a feel for that? The day being too short for a prisoner)? Another good friend instinctively knew that there was "a seat reserved just for him." It was a great sadness to me when he was recently transferred to Perth, but I have faith that our paths will cross again. I know he carries with him a powerful message that will bring hope wherever he goes. (If this is printed and you get it in Perth, I miss you, man)!
In the short time I've been going to Shotts Prison, some nine months or so, I can't describe what these guys have given me. My wee Higher-Powered car flies home from the meetings there. People who know me well can see my spirit visibly lifted by each and every visit. For that I am truly grateful to them. Their sharing is always real and from the heart - they've enriched and enhanced not only my sobriety but also my life, way beyond my wildest dreams. I see them not for what they've done, but for who they are - true friends and fellow members of AA.
My motive for writing this letter was that sometimes people are reluctant to come and share on a 'one-off basis,' for whatever reason. So please, if you're fortunate enough to be asked to come and share your experience, strength and hope with these men, grab the opportunity with both hands. Who knows? It may change your life!

BILLY S
Shotts Prison Group and
Cumbernauld Monday Night 12 Steps and 12 Traditions Group