Where do all good washes begin? With a good detergent, of course. Use only the best for thorough results – the only one that can remove all the stains and restore the item to nearly new condition – Alcoholics Anonymous – giving extended wearability for years and years and years beyond the previous life expectancy of the garment. After being soiled, stained and beyond useful service, enter the machine and WAIT. Be patient – the detergent will be added, the buttons will be pressed and you will take the first step in the cleaning cycle. Yip, it’s as simple as that – get yourself over the door and have the faith and patience to believe that THIS DETERGENT WORKS. Hundreds of thousands of satisfied customers give testimony to this fact day after day, night after night. No matter how worn, how threadbare, how frayed the garment is, the results are miraculous. Admittedly inside the machine is sometimes dark, confusing, scary and downright gut-churning but no pain usually means no gain. Half-loads availed us a job only half done. Nope, to have full and extended use of the garment, give it a boil wash with an added guid dose of BBB (Big Book bleach – another recommended product). The duration of the basic wash varies from garment to garment but eventually the machine will click onto the next step but only when the garment is ready for it. Many garments need many rinse cycles, so it is recommended by the manufacturers (Dr. Bob and Bill W) that you get as many rinse cycles as possible – even more than one per day if necessary. Certainly, 90 cycles in 90 days is the manufacturer’s basic suggestion. The more rinse cycles, the more chance the garment has of sustained usefulness. Of course, the biggest comfort of all is that you’re not the only garment in the machine. You’re with other garments who are going through the cycles with you – some at the same stage – others a couple of stages beyond which happily demonstrates the results that can be achieved with sticking with the recommended programme. Regularly though, the machine will click onto the spinning cycle which is inevitable because life’s like that – it’s programmed to do so. Be warned though but don’t be afraid for this, too, shall pass. In situations such as these, when you find your brain whizzing round trying to catch up with your body, pray for a rinse cycle to come quickly. This will help the brain but not necessarily stop the spinning. E-v-e-n-t-u-a-l-l-y the spinning will slow to a gentle spin and then stop. Of course, life being life, the spinning will happen again but, by this time, you’ll know where to find the nearest rinse cycle and take refuse there.
Hallelujah, we can breathe again. At times before and during, even this was a challenge. The breeze now blowing full blast, rejuvenating, cooling, drying the garment out, enables the garment to progress into useful service – BUT …..
LIFE – four letter word that it is, tends to interfere and mark our nice clean garment. What to do? Help! Yes, you’ve guessed it – get right back in the machine for continued cleaning. But now it’s not so scary, not so dark and we know what to expect and what to do because those garments who are a couple of cycles ahead of us have shown us that this is the way, this is the programme and this is the detergent to end the misery. Above all, IN THE MACHINE, WE’RE SAFE!
The machine - the rooms
The rinse cycle – the meetings
The detergent – Alcoholics Anonymous
The guy pressing the buttons – YOUR HIGHER POWER

Arlene (the Soup dragon)
Musselburgh Mill Hill Sunday Group